CancúnTom's Mexico

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Thanks for all the emails…… posted by CancunTom on December 3, 2011

Happy Holidays

MY THANKS TO ALL OF YOU …As we progress through to the end of 2011, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can’t sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can’t touch any woman’s handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS

for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO,

now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can’t have a drink in a bar because I fear I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN,

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW

I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore, and Uzbekistan .

THANKS TO YOU

I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE

I can’t ever pick up a 10cent coin dropped in the parking lot because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . .

Oh, and by the way…..

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY…

Tags: CANCUN, Caribbean, el-centro, Ex-pat, Fun, living in Mexico, MEXICO, Q-Roo, Sub-Tropical, Sun, Th
Posted in CANCUN, Living in Cancun, Living in Mexico, MEXICO, Q-Roo, Riviera Maya, Uncategorized, USA, Yucatan | 4 Comments » | permalink

Cars…….A Thanksgiving Day Special Posting posted by CancunTom on November 23, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers.

I hope that you and your families and loved ones have many things to be thankful for this past year. I know we do, living in a wonderful country, with the warm and kind Mexican people. We proud to say that Mexico and Cancun have welcomed us and that we are very appreciative of that.

We especially wish to give a shout out to all our brave soldiers throughout the world that are helping to defend those who cannot do so for themselves.

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All my life I have loved anything automotive. I bought my first car when I was 18 and since have owned many more. I’ve built my own street rod and custom vehicles that I have entered into competition throughout the Midwest in the USA. In 1984 I won the Midwest Class Championship in the International Show Car Association (ISCA). My second love is the photography of the cars I could never own since my name isn’t Jay Leno…….

Here are a few of my favorite shots taken at the annual Fathers Day antique auto show held each June in the Oakbrook Mall in Oakbrook, Illinois. I know that this is an off topic for this themed website but …..hey it’s fun to change things up once in awhile.

First up is a Morgan 3Wheeler from the 30′s. It used a 2 cylinder engine mounted ahead of the radiator and had 2 front wheels and one in the rear. The Morgan car company is still in business today and as a matter of fact it has just brought the 3 wheeler back into production using a Harley Davidson motorcycle engine similar to the original.

This next one is my all time favorite…………a 1933 Alfa Romeo race car impeccably restored and one of my personal top 10 photographs…..

The grandest of them all……….the Packard Dual Cowl Phaethon. To me this was the epitome of American luxury automobile design from the 30′s. The shape of the radiator cover and the way it carried this shape back onto the hood is just so perfect. Packard really had it right in that era. We are so lucky that there are individuals out there that have restored and preserved these masterpieces for future generations of car lovers to admire and appreciate.

This is the “Dual Cowl” which afforded rear seat passengers a nice cozy environment to motor through the countryside while Jeeves chauffeured them.